Thursday, March 28, 2013

Mental health vacation (perspective 2)

I remember when I was in the hospital and I finally got the opportunity to go outside. It had been days since I had seen the sunlight and felt the fresh air hit my face. It was of course nice to be out, but it was a big disappointment as well. It wasn't what I had remembered, or hoped. I could see all the buildings of Palo Alto. I felt like I was so close, yet so far from everyone. It is the worst feeling to not be in control. It didn’t matter what I did, how I acted, what I said, how much I cried, how much I screamed on the inside and outside, I couldn't feel as if I was in control. My enjoyment of being let free depended on the doctor’s decision, and my health, both mentally and physically. I felt trapped. During the summer, you're supposed to be outside, enjoying the days as they pass, not in a hospital, in a small room, on constant watch. After what felt like years in that room, I was finally going home, and I felt this boulder lift off of me, and I felt free again. I felt in control 


Stina, I can tell that there are some powerful emotions here, but they're clearly still in process toward being written... do you want to keep going with this one? 

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